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novelty how do you milk a cow-crd


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Subject: How Do You Milk a Cow? by Cledus T. Judd

Original lyrics by Toby Keith and Chuck Cannon
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Chris Clark

Intro: "Farmer in the Dell" on xylophone, accompanied by mooing

G                                 G
Yeah I was always a lazy one, a Southern Californian
    F                          C
But I've got some kinfolk on the Mason Dixon line
G                                G
So this summer just for fun, I hopped in my Delorion
   F                         C
And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time
Dm              Em        F          G
I thought that I would be huntin' and fishin'
    C                     F
I misunderstood him somehow
Dm             Em          F              G
So far there's nothing but chores here to mention
    C            G
I didn't mind feedin' the sows

**CHORUS**
      F                  G
But how do you milk a cow?
                  C                 F
How do you milk a cow? I wasn't in FFA
                        G         C
This cow must think I'm crazy up under it this way
                    F                             C
I'm sittin' here a-pullin' but there ain't nothin' comin out
    G             C         C        F (play 2x)
Oh, E-I-E-I-O... how do you milk a cow?


Verse 2:
I love it here in Tennesee, but these farmers all make fun of me
Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car
So I got myself a 4-wheel drive, learned to spotlight deer at night
And I've got shearin' sheep right down to an art
One thing's for sure, I hate shovelin' manure
It gets all over my overalls
Them horses need shoein', I hear Bessie mooin'
So I thought, maybe I'd ask you all

F                  G
How do you milk a cow?
                  C                 F
How do you milk a cow? I think it's safe to say
                  G       C
A man could get arrested for this in LA
      F                             C
This heifer must be empty 'cuz she ain't puttin 'out
    G             C         C        F (play 2x)
Oh, E-I-E-I-O... how do you milk a cow?

(Spoken:) This song is an udder disaster... I hope I don't get mad cow disease.

**CHORUS**
                    C                F
How do you milk a cow? I no longer care
                      G         C
I'm gettin' sick and tired of smellin' dairy air
    F                             C
I'm headed back to Cali and I'm turnin' in my plow
    G             C         C        F (play 2x)
Oh, E-I-E-I-O... how do you milk a cow?

(End by playing "Old MacDonald had a Farm" in key)

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