The Ten Worst Singles of 2009
By: Matt Bjorke
We’re often positive about the music that gets released to country radio and we’ve even had positive things to say about quite a few of these songs on this list when originally reviewed but the great thing about time is that it allows us to go back and say “What was I thinkin?” And in reality, we may have actually liked these songs, as background or filler music, perhaps but as ‘spotlights’ for albums or future albums or debuts from artists? I don’t think so. So, while we generally like to keep a positive take on things- as there is so much negativity in the world-, it feels good to get these thoughts off of our chests before the beginning of the new year.
10 “That Thang” – Fast Ryde
Yes, we get it, there’s something ‘bout that woman that that you like, particularly the ‘thang’ that she shankes, you know, the same thing that Trace Adkins sang about earlier this decade and the same thing Justin Moore sang about in 2008 with “Back That Thang Up.”
09. “Cowboy Casanova” – Carrie Underwood
This song, while a good or even great pop single, had no business being on a country radio station. It’s that plain and simple. Even if I ‘liked it’ in a review posted when the song came out, it isn’t really a country song, just like a Lady Gaga song isn’t a country song.
08. “Eight Second Ride” – Jake Owen
I like Jake Owen and co-writer Eric Durrance and I can tolerate this single from time to time but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a surprising choice for a single. As an album track it makes sense but as something that is meant to inspire people to get an album, well I'm not sure that the song will do or has done that, even if Jake tries to pour on the charm during this song. Hopefully something from the otherwise strong sophomore album Easy Does It will erase this one from people's minds.
07. Use Somebody – Margaret Durarte
To start a career off with a cover is always dubious choice, to do something with an all-encompassing single from the very same year is an even crazier choice. The song itself is a very good song and could make for a good country cover but everything about the choice to release this song surprised me to no end.
06. Bobbi With An I – Phil Vassar
So a ‘redneck’ cross-dressin’ dude is used for comic effect? Why? Even if released by Kenny Chesney or Sugarland this song would’ve still been an egregious choice for a single. As an album track it would work for a change-of-pace throwaway but as a single? Wow.
05. Country Folks (Living Loud) – Lost Trailers
While I actually kind of like this song, it was still perplexing as to why the group changed-up from “All of This Love” to this song. What makes the song worse is that it feels like a blatant re-write of “Song Of The South” by Alabama.
04. I Want My Life Back – Bucky Covington
This song got a so-so rating from us earlier this year yet upon further reflection, the song is a tad too ‘emo-whine’ for country music. It’s a guy sitting at a bar contemplating what made his life change, from the woman leaving him to losing that old job. It’s a downer of a song and would only really work in a time in this country that isn’t also a downer, or perhaps if a different singer sang it without so much autotune.
03. “The Good Lord and The Man” – John Rich
What John Rich got ‘so right’ (touching the pulse of America) with “Shuttin’ Detroit Down” he got so wrong with the cobbled mess that is this song. The lyric of “we’d all be speaking German, living under the flag of Japan if it wasn’t for the good lord and the man” is enough to tank this song. After all, how would that work exactly? Wouldn't we be speaking Japanese?
02. “Country Star” – Pat Green
I get that it’s supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek reference to the dreamchasers who come to Nashville to try to be a star and I typically like Pat Green’s music (even the Nashville stuff), but this one just reeks to high heavens. It is also the song that may have spelled the end of Pat’s career as a mainstream country star. Like many of the songs on this list, they are fine for album-filler but as singles? Please, resist the temptation.
01. “Summer Nights” – Rascal Flatts
Like “Country Folks (Living Loud)” this song is meant to inspire fun for people and in the context of an album it does work but the melody just feels like a rehashed take on “Life’s a Highway” with new lyrics and some of them are dreadful, like “summer nights, everybody’s feeling sexy.” The song didn’t do as well as Rascal Flatts likely hoped it would do and the funny thing is that “Why” is one of the better songs of the year so it is possible for a group to have both a worst and best song of the year.
While there may have been worse songs than these 10, these are the ones that, in hindsight, deserve to be on a worst-of list. Do you agree with? Are there any here that don’t belong? What are your ‘worst of 2009’ songs?
READER'S COMMENTS
hoangalicious says:
Posted: Sunday, January 3, 2010
why the heck did u compare Carrie to Gaga?
FU says:
Posted: Saturday, January 2, 2010
IF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT CARRIE NOT COUNTRY? DEN WHY THE HELL TAYLOR SWIFT IS IN COUNTRY DEN?? WTH.. THIS REVIEW IS JUST PURE BULL SHITTING
Kenny says:
Posted: Friday, January 1, 2010
LOL the so called "Carrie Underwood Crazed Fanbots" just found out about this, and i'm one of em! Personally I love 'Cowboy Casanova' and I am totally appalled by the Lady Gaga comparison. The track isn't traditional country music, no but comparing carrie underwood to lady gaga!? Hey, but if that's the only bad thing you can say about carrie, i'll take it. I still think the track is brilliant by the way.
Tumbleweed says:
Posted: Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I've never heard a good song from Rascall Flatt and they are the one you always see CMT. That's too bad. There are so many artists in country music that deserve our respect
Tumbleweed says:
Posted: Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I would add to this list of "bad" not only a song but an artist who has absolutely nothing to do in country music: Taylor Swift.
Sam says:
Posted: Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Oh Rick you critic wannabee, you found Roughstock and decided to grace it with your so called opinion! Well I have seen the name that rhymes with yours posted at The 9513 before when you downed a certain artist. You seem to have a problem with that, fixated on posting things about this one singer. I think that deep down inside somewhere, your jealous! So have a great day Dick...I mean Rick!
Earl says:
Posted: Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Good list. You missed Hootie and the..I mean Darius Rucker. Everything he did belongs to pop radio. I vote with my wallet. He didn't get any of my votes.
ALLISON JOYNER says:
Posted: Tuesday, December 29, 2009
R U SERIOUS? 8 SECOND RIDE A BAD SONG? DON'T THINK BILLBOARD AGREES WITH YOU AND I KNOW I SURE THE HELL DON'T!!
Vicky says:
Posted: Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I LOVE 8 Second Ride! It's what made me a Jake Owen fan when I saw him perform it during CMA. Sorry, but you got this one wrong. Can't argue with the rest of the list, though.
Stephen H. says:
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2009
Pat, there's these things called punctuation, capitalization, and paragraphs. It might make your "argument" actually readable. And you are completely incorrect. The song does not bring a smile to my face; therefore, there is no way it can bring one to "everyone"'s face. I'm surprised to see a list like this on here (I've been a lurker in the past and wasn't sure if there'd be as many as 10 songs on the list :-) ), but I agree with almost all the choices. The one exception would be "Country Star," which I definitely enjoyed as a tongue-in-cheek outsider take on life in Nashville, even if he's now on the inside. It's better than "What I'm For" or anything else he's released lately. But overall, good list!
jesse says:
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2009
I couldn't stand that "Bobbi with an I" song either. And worse yet is that "beer gut" song that somehow didn't make your list. Beyond annoying in the first version, and then a holiday one on top of that! Ugh. Didn't mind Carrie's song for country really. I think it's ok within the range of country diva type songs. The lyrics seem country to me, even if the song has a fair degree of pop/rock vibe.
Leeann says:
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2009
First of all, "Fifteen" doesn't promote promiscuity. In fact, I'd say the opposite is true. Solid list. Glad to see you come around on "Country Star.":)
Pat Messenger says:
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2009
what the heck rascal flatts summer nights the worst song of the year! unbelievable! the song is fun inspiring and brings a smile to everyones face. if the sexy line is so bothersome i have heard worse in other country songs, like cowboy casanova for instance. and so what if it is a rehash of life is a highway they are both great songs that inspire ideas of freedom for a younger generation and go quite well together and reminisencing better memories of adolescence than any of the songs written by taylor swift. and what is this about bucky covingtons song i want my life back being on this list as well. that song is not emo like in any way, i say it is one of the pure contry songs. i should know if it is emo like, it is my generation after all. if anything i believe that i want my life back fits in with the way things are in this economy better than anything else out there to date. iwant my life back, i want that house i called home fits in well with how many houses that are going under due to forcloser. so many things have been lost and dreams have been put on hold. i want my life back is about having the strength to keep those dreams together. i wonder why there aren't any taylor swift songs on this list, for they mention a lot worse things. like fifteen for example promotes promiscuity by mentioning a girl giving her virginity to some guy that she was dating and he walks away. i'm not sure what you are listening to but it is not what i am hearing, i think you need to get your ears checked. lady gagas music is just plain weird there are a lot worse things out there. i strongly consider that you revise your list or stop making lists for it is obvious that you have no idea what you are talking about.
Blake says:
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2009
The only one I don't mind is the Carrie song, though you're right that it's not country at all.
Rick says:
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2009
WOW Matt, a "Worst Of" list is so unlike you! Its nice to see Roughstock getting a little "edge" for a change! (lol) I have to say this list is far more reasonable that Jim Malec's Christian bashfest over at The 9513 and covers a lot more of a range of terrible songs from a wider array of artists. Its nice to see a Sucky Covington song made this list and in a well deserved manner! I wouldn't argue with any of these choices, but if the Carrie Underwood Crazed Fanbots find out about this, you'd better hire a bodyguard! (lol)
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